Content to move forward

If everything in life were smooth going, you would think happiness would follow, right? If I had the perfect house and the perfect marriage, the perfect daughter, and the perfect body. My soul would not waver. I think we could all question in those times of peace, and stillness in life,  how could ones joy be contaminated. But somehow it creeps in like a thief  in the night ready to destroy everything you dream of, and every ounce of happiness you feel. It's a struggle to fight through these emotions and give up and let go of any possible hope you had to run the race that was given you.


When I woke up this morning and heaviness worked it's hardest to suffocate my soul, I fought back and claimed the life I was given, and that it wasn't for sell to distress and torment. It took every bit of myself to stand on my feet, take up my shield, and not waver under the pressure. It took every bit of myself to move forward in confidence that no matter what problems got solved today, or what problems may arise,  I would survive it all. 


As I drug my feet to meet two very amazing mothers this morning to discuss our triumphs, our heartaches, accomplishments, and failures, I was reminded by them that in the scheme of things our problems are minuscule, (not that they don't matter, because whatever matters to you, matters to him) but that if these were the only problems we faced in life, well...... were pretty blessed. I'm very confident that by taking everything to him, he will do above and beyond anything we could ever imagine. 


I close by saying that the joy in me has not been stolen, even if everything around me closes in. I can take this and manage the challenges, and still be hopeful that I have purpose right where I'm at. Whether I have everything I want, I know I have everything I need. I know I will never be left to fend on my own as long as I seek the strength Iv'e received. I know I have the best tools to work with, and the ability to iron out the disappointments I may feel.


I began this post prepared to fire back all the fiery darts that were given me. Express every negative thing that has deflated my spirit, and hopefully feel relieved somehow by sharing it all with you. However, as I began to type, my heart softened again, the flames died down, and I felt completely content to move forward no matter how that my be, or no matter what time line it my fall in. 


The joy of the Lord is my strength.